Common Communication Mistake

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply. Proverbs 18:13 says, "He who answers before listening-that is his folly and his shame." The New English Bible puts it this way, "To answer a question before you have heard it out is both stupid and insulting." SOUL MATES LISTEN WITH THE INTENT TO UNDERSTAND.
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Another Frog to Prince Winner

Another winner of the Frog to Prince contest, Caroline from North Dakota, wrote: "I caught my man doing something right. Since being laid off work, my husband has picked up the task of house cleaning and caring for our three-year-old daughter. However, when he cleaned the kitchen he wouldn't wipe down the counters and stove nor sweep the floor. When I carefully brought it to his attention, he became upset. I let it go. A day or so later I came in from work and the dishwasher was loaded and the counters were wiped off.
The floor still had not been swept but I acted as though I didn't notice. I gave him a huge bear hug and kissed him deeply and thanked him for his hard work in the house that day. He stated that if washing a few dishes would get him that much attention what would cleaning the toilet get him. We laughed."

Notice what your children, spouse, or employee do right. Let them know you appreciate it, and you will get more, enjoy more, and feel better.

"Toad to Prince" Contest Winner

Experiences of women who took the "Toad to Prince" challenge by Dr. Noelle Nelson, author of "Your Man is Wonderful" are good soul mate tips. Today, with permission, I am sharing what first place winner Kelli from Alabama wrote:

"My main focus was to praise and appreciate my mate, and notice all the good things he does. On the first day, I met him when he drove in from work. I said the most ridiculous thing, 'You sure are good at parking that truck. I don't think you've ever driven on our grass.' I expected him to laugh and give me that 'you-gotta-be-kidding,' look. Instead, he beamed with pride. Later, we were putting away laundry and I looked at the stack of towels, all lop-sided and mismatched, that he had just put away. I said to him, 'Thanks for folding those towels so nicely. That was a big help! It was unlike me to say that; it even felt awkward just speaking those words. Again, expecting a sarcastic remark in return, I got a kiss and 'you're welcome, honey.'...OMG! Sweet! This (contest) has been the most eye-opening experience. I started out believing I was going to change this man's behavior. Instead, I learned that it was my changing behavior making the difference.

Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi Became Soul Mates

Patrick was 19 and Lisa was 15 when they met as dance students. They married in 1975. When talking to People Magazine about the secret to their long-term marriage, Patrick said, "You gotta keep the friendship alive, gotta keep interested, gotta keep remembering it's not about you, but it';s about us."

In their book, "The Time of My Life," Lisa writes, "Writing this book gave us the opportunity to explore the journey of our lives. Finding our story both illuminating and unexpected, we ultimately find within it a strength, richness and deep love that will, and has, always endured."

And in the book from Patrick, "there's my relationship with Lisa. I can't even begin to express what she has meant to me over the years....I can no more imagine life without her than I can imagine living without my own heart."

PARICK AND LISA HAVE LIVED WHAT IT MEANS TO BECOME SOUL MATES.

Who Is First in Your Life?

Who comes first in your mind and thoughts? Hopefully, your partner has the top spot. Do somethig nice for him/her every day. Stay interested in what he/she does or says. Worry more about whether you are being a good partner than whether your partner is being a good mate to you.

Be more patient and kind to the person who means the most to you. Stay open to listening. Try not to judge. Be open to learning more about why you each behave and believe the way you do. Accept your partner. Don't try to change him/her. Then enjoy each other every day.

Relationship Is Like A New Bank Account

In a relationship you start out at zero. What you put into the relationship is what you probably will get out of it. If you put nothing in or get nothing in return it is like investing in a bank that has gone bankrupt. That kind of relationship is a loser.

The quality of the relationship is based on the same principle. The better you are to your partner, the happier he/she will be and that means he/she will more likely be warm and thoughtful to you. Usually you get what you give. If that doesn't happen there is something wrong with that relationship.

Brenda Novak Offers Tips on Love

The Sacramento Bee recently asked Brenda Novak, romance writer, for some ideas on how to make love last. She gave eleven suggestions. Number one: "Avoid negative thought patterns." Some men and women get attention and strokes by being victim. These men will joke in negative ways about their partners with their friends. They talk about their partner's "bitching" about everything. Women complain to friends about always having to plan things to do or that their partner doesn't do his share. She always has to do everything.

It is difficult to live with a negative partner. It is hard enough for anyone to practice focusing on what is going right, but when you live with someone focused on what is wrong it makes it even more difficult. So take Brenda's number one suggestion seriously.